College Already

I have my first born through High School.  Today we went and signed him up for college classes.  The same day that he received his letter from housing.  This is exciting and scary.  Scary because he is going to live away from me (I don't care that it is only an hour drive or 45 minutes if you are me).  My kids have never really been away from me.  I can't really gage how he is feeling about it.  I do however feel sorry for his roommate.  We joked about him showing up dressed like Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory.  The list of stuff that they cannot bring.  They actually said that you cannot bring a cinder block to the dorms??? But I think he is a bit nervous as well.  I think the summer classes will be good for him because he won't be adjusting to that and leaving home, so maybe it won't all be too overwhelming.  :)

Where has the time gone??

It is so hard to believe that in just two short days that my baby will be 18.  I sit back and see those around me that are just starting their families or adding to them and I think I am so glad I don't have to deal with the baby stuff anymore.  But then I look at my son is going to be an adult and i wish I could get some of those times back. The days where he would sit on my lap and cuddle or look at me with his goofy smile and I would know that he is getting into something.  The days of trying to work on school papers while holding him are long gone, though the skill of typing with one hand are still there.  

Watching him go off to his first day of school and wonder where the time went, but knowing that I would be the one he comes home to at the end of the day and that he would still need his mommy's help.  In just a few short months he will be going off to college, not coming home to tell me about his day.  But navigating this thing called life pretty much on his own.  Yes I will still be there for him, but I now must stand on the sidelines and wait for him to come to me.  

We will be alright :)

Last week our lives were turned upside down.  We are very trusting people and dont really question people around us.  Some might say that is naive, but I refuse to live in fear.  But as I sit here typing this that is exactly what I am doing.  Our home was broken into and robbed last Thursday and our trust is broken.  We have lost material things that can be replaced and in time they will be.  But the most special thing that we have lost is trust and the sense of security.

But out of this we have gained so much more.  There has been such an outpouring of support from our friends and family from the little things like checking on us at night to offering us the extras that they have so that we can get back to some normalcy.  I also received a phone call this morning that someone anonymously called the social worker at school and we are getting our mortgage paid for in January.  I was completely speechless and of course brought to tears.

So while we may have lost material things my heart is overflowing with love <3

Patience

I think that I am a pretty patient person.  However, I feel as though I am truly being tested in this area.  I met a guy 4 years ago.  He is a career soldier and only 4 years until retirement.  :) Currently he is deployed and will becoming home in June.  He has decided to be stationed in Kansas for the last 4 years.  YEAH!!!! He is originally from South Carolina.

We have never met in person, have been through a lot the last few years.  He has been stationed in Germany the last 3 until this deployment. So I never thought that it could turn to anything more.  We have been talking quite a bit the past few months.  We are planning to meet for the first time in June.  I am scared to death and excited at the same time.  So much in common yet different enough to keep it interesting. 

We have been doing things like "date nights".  He gets up at 430 in the morning on sundays so that we can have a saturday night date.  :)  Currently we are reading a book together.  This is all wonderful now but what about when he gets back???

I'm trying to be patient for June, it seems like forever but i know that it will be here before we know it.  I am scared to death at the same time. 

New Mom

Ok so we all know that I am far away from being a new mom :)

 Today I was talking to a new parent and I sit back and wonder if I went through all the emotions that a new mom feels.  The ups and downs the totally withdrawing, feeling like all you do is feed a baby and forget about sleep!!!! That is a beautiful thing of the past.

So I stopped and thought about this for awhile.  Realized that yes I did have a touch of this with each child but unfortunately had it the worst with my 3rd child.  There were so many things that went into those feelings after he was born.

I wanted to give her advice on how to get through it but realized that the way she is feeling that all she needs are words of encouragement  that she is still so much more than a mom, she is still a beautiful woman, wife and friend.

That she will get out of this and will realize how blessed she is.  That one day she will get to sleep through the night again. 

Always remember to take time for herself, that the baby will survive not being held for five minutes while you go to the bathroom and shower.

She knows her baby better than anyone, regardless how many children the helpful person has or how long they have had children.  Just smile, listen and do things your way, because in the end you know what works for you and your family.

But most importantly, that she is so much more than a Mom and to never forget that.  I still find myself struggling with this one and my kids are 8, 12, 14 and 17. :)

Friends

I have always prided myself on have a diverse group of friends.  However as I began to think about group get togethers I realize I cant.  I know that my friends love me but they don't always care for one another.  I understand that everyone isn't going to have the same opinions, but don't you think that this world is a wonderful place because of the differences.  No I dont expect everyone to be the best of friends, but it would be nice to get along for a couple hours as women and to escape life.

All I can hope is that I am teaching my children to be accepting of everyone and that those four will multiply the love and acceptance of our differences.

Having teens is a mixed bag of emotions.  On one hand it is so nice that they have their own independence (although my kids have pretty much always had that), but on the other hand I oddly miss them not needing me as much. 

My oldest is going to be graduating this year and only recently have I realized OMG I am going to have an adult.  He is looking into colleges and asking for my opinion, but I know that in the end it will totally be his choice where he goes and on his own enrolling and everything that goes with that.  I am at a bit of a loss with all of this.  The one thing that I do know is that I have raised him to make good choices and the most important thing is that he is going to college, even though it means one more step toward not needing me :( 

Thank goodness I have 3 more.....